The Problem Was, He Wouldn't Die
(Self-portrait as a Medical Student)
(I’m currently assembling and editing a book of essays, poems & etc. And in doing so, I ran across this remembrance of a time when I was (purportedly) a 3rd-year medical student on the surgical rotation - but, actually more of a flaneur:)
“When I was formerly a medical student on surgical rounds, we came to the door of an older post-op patient. I peered in through the door at him while the Attending, Head Resident, Resident, Intern, and Nursing Supervisor recounted the patient’s history and treatment out in the hall. It seems he had been fighting for his life through a couple of months of hospitalization. He appeared as a shrunken, yellowed husk of a man with an iron-grey mustache, who appeared as if in a sepia print of an immigrant logger lying prone in the notch of an enormous old growth to be photographed for posterity. Apparently, the old fellow was tough as nails and wouldn’t die. “We’ve done everything, and frankly we’re at the bottom of our bag of tricks,” the Head Resident summarized finally. “There’s nothing more for us to try, so the question is, should he be taken off code?”
The nursing supervisor was adamant that they needed to keep the fellow on full code alert. “We’ve grown very attached to this patient. We’ve really gone to the wall for him, and if you take him off code it’s just going to kill our morale.” She broke into tears while speaking. The talk went back and forth with the conversation between the Head Resident and the Nurse resembling somewhat that of an uncomfortable family meeting about putting down the dog. As these things went, after everyone had said and re-stated every possible tactic which could be uttered regarding the present conundrum, the Attending turned to the least member of the group, me, the medical student, to ask what I thought?
I looked at the patient again, and though he had lots of tubes and drains coming from him, nothing was blocking his mouth. “Could we ask him?” I ventured hesitantly.
This turned out to be the crowning triumph of my diagnostic technique and medical-style—which was to just stare at the patient until a notion appeared.
It was decided to do just that. The Head Resident spoke to the patient that afternoon. He recounted a very moving conversation the next morning on rounds. The patient stated very emphatically that he wanted to keep on fighting. He remained on code. The following day, he died.”